Have You Met Miss Jones?
by Choco-Loki
Summary: America brings little Adrian and Mikhail to London for a school report. A sidestory for Connecting the Dots. Might be confusing for those who haven't read CTD. Rus/Am Warnings: mom!America, crossdressing, no genderbending, fluff, yaoi, past mpreg


**A/N: Remember what I said about the song 'Have You Met Miss Jones?' in Chapter 17 of Connecting the Dots? Here's the RusAmer oneshot inspired by following song and video!**

**h t t p: /www .youtube. com/ watch?v= cj2ksdV8a-8**

**America is totally a the girl in the green dress. Imagine if Russia was singing. I did. XD This is the end product.**

**If you haven't read Connecting the Dots, you might be a little confused. Anyways, the whole gist is that Russia and America are married, America mpreg'd and out came his lovable fraternal twins (they don't resemble each other!) Mikhail and Adrian, they are visiting London (for field trip reasons for their kids because they're still in elementary school here, 6****th**** grade), and America and Russia are not supposed to have contact with any other nations ever since a few nations started to conceive (which was decided when they found out they were expecting. It's in CTD's first chapter if you're still confused.) So obviously, Adrian and Mikhail have no clue that their mom is a male or that their parents are nations for now. So seriously, any questions you might have you can refer to CTD, 'cause I'm pretty sure all the answers are there. **

**Note: Alfred has the ability to sound like a real girl. Cue 'woah's' please. He is referred to as 'she' and 'Allie' because he's still in his girl mode. **

**Warning: mom!Alfred (called Allie), crossdressing!Alfred (who looks like a real woman. If you wanna see a link to a fantastic picture that was NOT drawn by me, you can go to Connecting the Dots and click on the link I've provided in Chapter 12, Idle Day.), and no genderbending.**

**Extra Warning: Do not Google **_**The Human Centipede**_** if you get sick easily. Even I didn't dare to check. I had my friends search it up for me, I'm such a wimp. They were sickened. oTLoTLoTL Suddenly this emote has a whole new meaning. D8 **

Не за что [Russian]—You're welcome.  
The rest are just pet names and junk. XD

**Anyways, here's a quick little sidestory to CTD. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.**

"Mom, can you wait up?"

Adrian puffed in annoyance and Mikhail held on to Ivan's coat, both looking at their mother in exhaustion. Today she had on a teal dress at her curly blond hair was set in perfect waves; she had on 3 inch heels but was prancing around in them effortlessly as she raced ahead.

"You guys don't want to be late! Get it? It's a joke." She pointed to the Big Ben excitedly. Adrian stopped and leaned over Westminster Bridge for a break.

"Allie, you are going to twist your ankle and hurt yourself in those shoes," Ivan said. God, they've been walking up and down London for the entire afternoon. He wished those heels would break so that he could carry his America back to the hotel room.

"That's stupid, Vanya," she exclaimed. Mikhail plopped his head on the rail; he wanted to take a long, long nap.

"Mom, when I said I had to do a report on Big Ben, I said, 'Boy, I wish we could visit England right now.' I didn't mean that we should take a week off from school to come here."

"Well, aren't you glad your teacher was so cooperative and that I've gave you this fabulous opportunity for a little hands on thing? It's a little family field trip, hmm?"

"I can see Big Ben from here. Let's just take some pictures and go back—"

"No no no no no, we got to go _inside_."

Adrian raised his eyebrow. "You can't go inside."

"Who said?"

"England said."

Allie poked her son gently with one manicured nail. "He said no such thing. We can go in."

Adrian sputtered, "H-he? England is a country! Mom, you have to follow the rules and stop looking like such a tourist. You can't go in. It's probably locked and then the police will take you away for vandalizing government property or something."

Allie shushed her son. "Okay, first, I am not a tourist. I've been here many, many, many, _way _too many times to count. I just like to retain my American ways because I'm awesome like that. And secondly, the police won't dare to arrest me, that's silly. And thirdly, it's 'Parliamentary Monarchy,' not a gov—"

Adrian threw his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay! What do you want us to do?"

"That's easy. Right now, we can go inside the—" Her head turned to gaze at the clock again, and she froze, the smile petrified on her face.

"What is the matter, _Зайчик мой_?"

"I-I…" She couldn't make the words come out. Allie swallowed before continuing, "I think we should go back to the hotel for now. The boys can research online."

Mikhail and Adrian seemed to regain their energy as they bounced up to her. "Seriously, mom? We can go back?"

Allie ushered the twins away from the direction of Big Ben hurriedly. "Well?" she said to Ivan, who was standing there stupidly. She pulled on his arm, but he wouldn't budge.

Actually, Ivan was wondering what could've scared America so badly. He'd punch the living daylights out of whoever it was—

Allie panicked. She reached for that one part in Ivan's neck that would render him unconscious and jabbed it with her finger.

"Mom! What are you doing?" Adrian watched his mother use her enormous strength to sling Ivan over her shoulders (who probably weighed two hundred pounds), which was unbelievable since she looked only around one-thirty.

"Come on, boys. Lead the way!"

Her knees did not wobble under the heavy weight. In fact, she made carrying cars look easy. Ignoring staring passersby and Asian tourists snapping pictures on their digital cameras (_what the hell? _Adrian thought), the twins prayed that their mom didn't trip and that her heels wouldn't shatter.

Miraculously, the heels held until she reached the hotel elevator. Then they cracked in half and Ivan came crashing on top of Allie. The entire elevator vibrated dangerously and Mikhail actually got down on his knees to pray that the elevator cords won't snap.

It would be many years later when Adrian's boyfriend, Alec, would find Adrian's crumpled Big Ben report deep inside the closet and read that, _My Mom used her Superman powers to lift my Dad up to our hotel room, and we almost died because Mom's shoes broke,_ and see that Adrian's report had gotten a D.

* * *

It was midnight and the twins were snoring in their room in some corner of their gigantic suite. Allie came out of the bathroom; her golden bangs plastered her forehead in wet clumps. She'd removed her contacts and switched back to Texas. She thought it was a stroke of genius when she actually made Texas into contact lenses, but glasses were really easier on the eyes.

The sheets rustled as Ivan groggily woke up, his hand holding his head. He took the water Allie offered him. "Alfred…?"

Allie laughed nervously. "Sorry for knocking you out, I think I was hyperventilating. But I thought I saw someone…"

Ivan sat up on the bed and drew Allie closer to him. "Who is it?"

"I…I might be wrong, but I thought I saw Belarus."

"Please don't joke about her, Alfred."

"I'm not."

Ivan fell back on the bed, his arm covering his eyes and muttering rapidly in Russian. "I thought we ran away from her when we still lived in my home."

"She has ways of tracking you down. Did she implant some chip in your brain when you were sleeping…? That would be a great horror movie title: _Midnight Surgery._ Have you seen that new movie? I think it was called _The Human Centipede, _I don't quite recall…"

The thought was so morbid Ivan didn't get up for a while. They stayed in that position in compatible silence for a few minutes. Ivan rose and encircled his arms around Allie's waist when she was about to walk away. "You knew the boys were capable of researching at home on Big Ben, and this trip was unnecessary. Why did we come here?"

Allie teetered back and forth on her heels, but Ivan didn't let her leave. "Well, I thought wee might see Iggy or France, that's all."

Ivan exhaled. "You know you cannot—"

"I know, I know, I'm not supposed to call anyone before my kids are in high school, and I realized that Arthur's not in England after a couple hours of staying here. But I was just kind of hoping, you know?"

Ivan's expression softened as he stood up. "I understand."

"I want to see the other nations. I thought fourteen years would go by real fast and all, but it's actually taking a while. Humans grow up so slowly…"

Allie turned and was about to walk to the boys' room and check on them until a pair of arms surrounded her from behind. "Don't feel bad, Дорогая моя." He lifted Allie's hand to their faces and the two of them gazed at the matching golden bands.

"I'm not—"

"_Have you met Miss Jones?_" Ivan quietly sang in Allie's ear, and her eyes widened in embarrassment. "_Someone said as we shook hands. She was just Miss Jones to me_."

"God, you're such a cheesy bastard."

Ivan ignored her and grasped her hand tighter. "_Then I said, 'Miss Jones, you're a girl who understands, I'm a man who must be free.'_" He paused, waiting for Allie to continue.

Allie sighed. "Okay, fine. I will be mushy for this one time only with my mushier husband. You are not to say anything about it in the future. Capiche?" She gave their rings another look before singing along, her voice combining with Ivan's lower tone. "_And all at once I lost my breath, and all at once was scared to death, and all at once I own the earth and sky. _Happy?"

Ivan breathed into her ear. "Very. _Now I met Miss Jones, and we'll keep on meeting till we die, Miss Jones and I." _

Allie had to snicker. It was sort of funny, Ivan singing this old timey American song. Key word: _American_. Now that she was thinking about it, didn't this song play at their wedding? Double cheesy bomb.

She kept whisper-singing with Ivan, despite her earlier protests of how corny it was. Well, it still is, but she didn't mind that much anymore. "_And all at once I lost my breath, and all at once was scared to death, and all at once I own the earth and sky._ _Now I met Miss Jones, and we'll keep on meeting till we die, Miss Jones and I, Miss Jones and I, Miss Jones and I…_"

Their whispers trailed off. Allie turned around and snaked Ivan's scarf around her neck. "I love you. You're the best." Her voice was faint as she murmured it, as if she was too shy to admit it at this moment (which was completely unlike America).

"_Не за что, Солнышко моё._"

* * *

"Watcha got there, Alec?"

Alec snapped Adrian's report book shut and held it close to his chest. "Nothing. Just a book."

Adrian's eyes narrowed. "Let me see."

"It's nothing!"

"Then let me see!"

"…okay, it's something important!"

"Then I must see!"

They rolled to the ground, Alec holding the report as far from Adrian as possible. He won't let Adrian know that he'd been reading his elementary school essay, and he definitely won't let Adrian know that it was really very well written and that the teacher must've been blind to have given him a D; it felt like reading a novel. The report was written in a narrative voice detailing his adventures (thus going extremely off-topic) and not much about Big Ben (the events sounded pretty made-up, even if it wasn't, so that was probably why he got that score), but Alec thought the ending was especially sweet. But it's not like he'll ever say it to his face.

"…_Back in the hotel room, Mikhail and I immediately went to sleep. But I think it was around twelve when I woke up and I heard my mom and dad singing. My friends thought it was gross, but I think their parents don't sing together because they've forgotten how to…I'm glad my parents didn't forget…'" _


End file.
